What do you think of when you hear this phrase – Finding Balance in Life? Does the word “Impossible” pop into your mind? Perhaps, “How in the world can anyone do that?” is your question. Finding Balance in Life can also sound very cliche.
Finding balance in your life includes so many things and maybe you already feel like you have a pretty balanced life but there might be one or two areas you are just ignoring. Things like your spiritual life, your family, your work or yourself!
Finding balance in life doesn’t happen in one day or even one year because balance is a progressive part of every life. Our lives can make some pretty abrupt changes that throw us totally out of balance. Finding balance in life is a process of learning how to maintain balance in the most important areas no matter what’s taking place around you.
Balance in the Midst of Chaos
Balance can be easily lost when a chaotic and unexpected event occurs. I’m going to use my own life as an example. I had been married to my first husband, Don, for almost 49 years and our life together had a wonderful harmony. I had balance in most areas as did my husband.
Then, on July 26, 2015, he was killed instantly in an accident at which I was present but not involved in the accident itself. It was highly traumatic and horrible. Honestly, it was hell. There was no warning, no time to prepare. In a moment of time ‘we’ became ‘me,’ ‘married’ became ‘single,’ and ‘wife’ became ‘widow.’ I had to engage in finding balance in my life, the new life I didn’t even want!
There was a great darkness I entered into called the Valley of the Shadow of death. But, even though my future with my husband was suddenly gone along with our plans, hopes and dreams, God was speaking and my spiritual life remained strong.
Why? Because I had a spiritual history that became my hope, strength, foundation, and balance. I was out-of-balance in a million other ways. I couldn’t think, lost days, and had to spend months working through the stages of grief, shock, and PTSD that followed.
Rebuilding Balance in Life
I had to rebuild my balance in every area, and then, eleven months after my husband died, I was diagnosed with colorectal cancer. Once again, my life was thrown into a huge curve. However, my faith and spiritual balance brought me the strength to find balance in all the other ways including my health. When you’re rebuilding, you will bounce back and forth from extreme to extreme in the process of finding balance in your life again.
Today, I have remarried and my life is truly blessed with peace and joy. There are still areas of my life that are in progress but that’s normal. The darkness I experienced just like millions and millions of others, was a place of learning and growing and settling into a faith deeper than I had ever imagined I could have. Also, I found a far more settled faith even in the midst of questions like we all have as we progress through life.
What Does Balance Feel Like?
I believe that balance feels like peace in the midst of imperfection. We will never be perfect and finding balance in life is not about perfection. Our lives, beliefs, and passions change throughout our lifetime. We are sinners saved by grace and our battle is continual. Our emotions, minds, hearts, and bodies affect us every day.
There’s always some area of our life we are working on. In fact, it’s normal to have multiple areas. The goal is not perfection, it is Christ. Our goal is to find peace, balance, and harmony in our lives knowing that we are perfect in Christ.
Balance and Harmony
What’s the difference between balance and harmony? Balance is the middle point between lack of control and too much control. I picture it like a teeter-totter. If the weight on each end is equal, there is balance. If there are extremes on either end balance becomes impossible. We all know what it feels like to find balance on a teeter-totter and finding balance in life is a similar feeling.
Harmony and Balance in Life
Harmony is about peace and tranquility and being in a symbiotic state (denoting a mutually beneficial relationship between different people or groups) with all that is around you. It is peace but it is also the atmosphere surrounding you and your interactions with God, people, nature, life, and self.
“Harmony is usually identified as a human value, referring to compatibility and accord in feelings, actions, relationships, opinions, interests, etc. It denotes a state of balance among forces influencing and even opposing one another. Psychologists have investigated both intrapersonal and interpersonal harmony, and attested to their relations with happiness and subjective well-being in empirical studies. Harmony has also been found to associate with the meaning of life, an important topic in positive psychology.”
In book: The encyclopedia of positive psychology (pp.464-467)
Publisher: London: Blackwell Publishing
Editors: S. J. Lopez
Harmony is associated with meaning in life. Our meaning in life is defined by our relationship with our creator. There is no greater meaning than to be found in Christ, worshipping God, and living in His will. We were made to be in communion with God, to draw close to Him, and to dwell with Him in eternity. Our meaning in life is made certain in our relationship to Jesus, the Messiah.
But, how do you go about finding balance and harmony in life? Let’s look at some areas of life that are important in either helping or hurting us in our search for balance and harmony.
Perhaps you don’t consider yourself to be a very spiritual person. You believe in Jesus but that’s about it. Maybe you have wanted to be a more religious or spiritual person but you don’t know where to start. Finding balance in life needs to include balance in your spiritual life. If you are not a Christian, then apply these principles to your own beliefs.
Start finding balance in life spiritually by just talking to God. You don’t need to change the way you talk normally. Talk to Him just as you would to anyone else. Remember, He made you so He already knows how you talk and think, what you want, what you hate, what you love, and everything about your life.
Finding Balance When Life is Hard
Maybe life has been hard and you’re angry with God for not stepping in to make things better for you and, since He ignored you, you are going to ignore Him. Remember this:
- God is not a genie in a bottle who does what we want and then disappears till we summon Him the next time. This attitude means we think we are gods.
- God gave mankind a thing called free will. Without it, we would just be slaves and lost in sin.
- Because of free will, we reap what we sow and we experience the consequences of the sinful nature of others who interact in our lives.
- We have a choice to either use the negative to make us better people or allow it to make us bitter. It is our daily choice.
I didn’t have a great childhood. There was alcoholism along with sexual abuse and huge loneliness. For years, I blamed my Mother even after I became a Christian. I thought I was justified. Then one day as I was praying, the Holy Spirit nudged me with this statement, “Are you a new creation in Me or not?”
That made me angry, but I heard it again, “Are you a new creation in Me or not?” I tried to convince God to understand that my Mother was horrible and that we were talking about her, not me. All I heard was this, for the third time, “Are you a new creation in Me or not?”
Let God Help You Find Balance in Life
I broke because I knew what God was trying to make me see. If I really believed that I had become a new creation in Him when I accepted Christ as my Savior, then I could not blame anyone for my faults and flaws. Yes, the past effects us. However, we have the power to overcome it because of Christ’s work on the cross and the Holy Spirit living inside us. I had to make a choice and I did. I asked for forgiveness for my own bitterness, unforgiveness, and selfishness.
So, if you had a bad life, use it for your benefit instead of letting it use you for the rest of your life. Get help in the areas you struggle with the most. There is no shame in needing counseling, a mentor, accountability partners, and other forms of help. We need each other in order to be whole and to help us in finding balance in life.
You can only find spiritual balance by working at it. It’s not hard but it requires a change in your life to make this a priority. Set aside 5 minutes in your day to talk to God. Tell Him how you feel, what you need, what you’re disappointed in, what hurts, and what’s good.
Use the Word to Find Balance in Life
Then, get in the Bible. Just a little bit each day. Here are some links to places where you can read a daily Bible verse, get some ideas for Bible Study, along with help and encouragement in finding balance in life.
- Women Ministering
- Arabah Joy
- Study Your Bible Now
- Kingdom Bloggers
- Worth Beyond Rubies
- Woman of Noble Character
- Busy Blessed Women
- One Exceptional Life
Make a Commitment to Spiritual Growth and Balance
1. Make a decision that finding balance in life will come through spiritual growth.
2. Set aside 5 minutes every day to talk to God and read one Scripture.
3. Set a date on your calendar to increase daily prayer time to 10 minutes and to read one chapter in the Bible each day.
4. Make a plan to increase your prayer time and begin a Bible Study within a month.
5. Continue this every day for the rest of your life!
You don’t have to go to an extreme and become a monk or sign up to be a missionary in a distant land. Spiritual balance involves a growing relationship with God that leads you to understand your friendship with Jesus, hear the voice of the Holy Spirit, and come into a beautiful relationship with your Heavenly Father.Spiritual balance involves a growing relationship with God that leads you to understand your friendship with Jesus, hear the voice of the Holy Spirit, and come into a beautiful relationship with your Heavenly Father. Click To Tweet
Find some other believers you can talk with. It might be hard at first but there are Christians out there who would love to talk with you and support you as you learn and grow in Christ. You don’t have to go to church, although it’s a good idea, but you can find groups in your area. You can even communicate with people online like me!
Make journaling part of your journey. Your journal will serve as a record of your spiritual growth, bad days, good days, and how you persevered. You can recorded your victories in finding balance.
Journals don’t have to be complicated. They can be as simple or as ornate as you want them to be. Here are some links to blogs about how to journal, using color coding, creating your own War Binder/Journal, and types of journals.
- 7 Best Bible Study Tools – includes tools for journaling
- The Power of Journaling
- Bible Journaling Tips and Tricks
- Free and Inexpensive Ways to Bible Journal
- Step By Step Guide on Creating a Prayer Journal or War Binder
- 3 Ways to Use Journaling for Spiritual Growth
- How to Create Your Own Bible Color Coding Guide
These are just a few of the sites that have information about Journaling. You can Google “journaling, bible journaling, prayer journaling” and find lots of journals to purchase or create online. You can also start a digital journal in apps like GoodNotes or just using Word or Google docs. Word will allow you to password protect your journal.
6. Buy or create a journal and begin to use it for just a few minutes every day. You can gradually increase your time or just leave it open based on how your day goes!
7. Use your journal to track your spiritual growth and the improvements in balance in your life.
8. Use your journal to track your struggles. It’s fine and everyone has them.
9. Use your journal to track how you overcame in your struggles and how the Word of God played a part.
10.Use your journal to celebrate and create vision for the future.
Finding Balance in Your Life Physically
Yes, I know, we all talk about our physical health but what do we actually do about it? As in everything, our actions are what count. When you begin the journey to finding balance in your physical life, ask yourself some questions.
- Do I eat healthy, well-balanced meals?
- Am I over or under weight or am I just right?
- Do I get any physical exercise regularly?
- Am I already committed to a regular exercise regimen?
If you can answer all those questions in a positive way, then skip this section. If not, which ones had negative answers? For instance, do you eat in a healthy, balanced way? If not, how can you change this? Think of just some small changes you could make. Cut down on your sugar intake. Add a vegetable to one meal each day. Cut back on fried foods.
Taking Hard Steps to Find Balance in Your Physical Life
I have been obese and I know what it did to me physically, mentally, and emotionally. I was never happy, always dieting and not losing weight or not keeping it off, discouraged, self-conscious, tired, and weak. Obesity contributes to some types of cancer including the one I had, colorectal cancer.
My husband and I both went on a highly restrictive diet called Medifast. I felt horrible for the first week until I weighed myself and had lost 5 lbs in one week! That gave me new hope and over a period of 5 months, I lost 50 lbs. I only regained 10 and have been able to keep the weight off. I am not recommending it, I’m just telling you that I had to do something extreme in order to achieve my goal because I had lost hope.
Physical health is proven to be connected to our mental and emotional health. Today, I try to walk 3-4 miles at least 3 times per week. In addition, I live on a farm and do things like rototilling, digging out weeds and walking up and down a 7% grade driveway that’s half-a-mile long! I get my daily share of exercise in those ways and I can attest to the difference it makes physically, mentally and emotionally.
Use Your Time to Incorporate Prayer In Your Daily Life
Use your exercise time to talk to God and listen to worship music or podcasts that encourage you. Pray when you are driving. Pray silently at work. Pray at home when you go outside or even have to go into the bathroom to get a moment to talk to God and re-center yourself!
11.Take the first steps toward eating healthy and commit to continue them.
12If you are not getting regular exercise start taking short walks, running, going to a gym, finding a friend to walk with or doing whatever type of exercise you can continue to do regularly.
13.Combine your exercise time with your time talking to God every day.
Mental and Emotional Health
Finding balance in your life mentally and emotionally can be more challenging. Your living and working environments can play a huge role. If your home-life is filled with anger and resentment, lack of communication, and negative input, your mental and emotional health will most likely suffer.
In changing these elements of your life, look at yourself first because the only person you have the power to change is you.
- What do you watch on television and online?
- Are your thoughts primarily positive or negative?
- Do your friends promote positive, godly principles or not?
- Are you in a church or other positive spiritual environment?
The answers to these questions, will give you the clues to the changes you need to make. I’m going to suggest one in particular – gratitude. That may sound like it has little to do with your life, but I know it does.
The Power of Gratitude
After the death of my first husband, I discovered the great power of gratitude. I didn’t want the new life I had and so my tendency was to look backward. But, I quickly realized that, in order to keep grief from swallowing me, I had to be grateful for what I had instead of always looking at what I didn’t have and what I had lost.
So, I started a daily practice of gratitude. At times, I had to do this multiple times per day. When I was starting to feel overwhelmed, I would begin to thank God for everything. I was grateful that I had a roof over my head, food in the refrigerator, dogs, clothing, shoes, furniture, air conditioning and a furnace that worked, a car, a motorcycle, sunshine, dogs, and everything else I could think of.
Whenever I could, I spoke out loud. When we speak, we hear our own voice and it reinforces and gives power to whatever we are saying. My verbal confessions of faith and gratitude helped me mentally and emotionally.
I believe that grateful people are naturally far more content and joyful that than those who are constantly speaking in negative and unscriptural terms. God is positive. His desire is for us to achieve His ideals. At the same time, He knows we never can without Him. But, He’s still positive that we will because He is focused on our future with Him in eternity. So, His statements about us are always positive.
When You Need Help
Sometimes, there are things that have taken place in our lives that have had a huge, negative impact on our mental health. We need help. Needed help is not a sign of being a failure as a Christian. It’s not about how strong your faith is. We were created to need each other. When one is down, another picks them up and carries them for awhile.
If you need a counselor, get one. Don’t wait or question yourself. If you can’t afford one, go to your church and see if they have someone you can talk with. Often, we don’t need advice as much as we need to just be heard. We need to know that someone cares about our pain.
14.Change what you watch and read to be positive and scriptural. Stay away from negative, angry, degrading, violent, and depressing things.
15.Change your thinking by using the Word of God. You have the mind of Christ and can encourage yourself through the Word.
16.Find Godly friends or those who are positive and build you up rather than tear you down.
17.Practice gratitude every day, multiple times per day, and speak it out loud. Use Scripture to cultivate an attitude of gratitude.
18.If you need help for depression, fear, anger, or any other debilitating condition, get help immediately. There is no shame in needing someone else’s help.
Living a Well Balanced Life
These are just a few tips to help you find balance in your life. God is a God of balance. In the Garden of Eden, He created an atmosphere of love and peace. Unfortunately, humans did not realize what they had and went searching for the very things God knew would only bring death in many forms.
We are still doing that. But, the Good News is that we now have access to God, forgiveness through the blood of Christ, and the Holy Spirit living inside us to lead, guide, teach, and protect. Remember that last one – the Holy Spirit will try to protect you and guide back into the life God wants you to live. We just have listen and obey.
The Holy Spirit speaks what He hears from God and speaks it to you. He may tell you to give up something or someone. He will honestly tell you hard things and beautiful things.
19.Cultivate your relationship with the Holy Spirit.
20.Listen and Obey even when it’s hard because He wants your life to be beautiful and full.
I pray you are helped, encouraged, and given strength from God. The Holy Spirit will be your guide in finding balance in life.
20 Tips for Finding Balance in Life
- Make a decision that finding balance in life will come through spiritual growth.
- Set aside 5 minutes every day to talk to God and read one Scripture.
- Set a date on your calendar to increase daily prayer time to 10 minutes and to read one chapter in the Bible each day.
- Make a plan to increase your prayer time and begin a Bible Study within a month.
- Continue this every day for the rest of your life!
- Buy or create a journal and begin to use it for just a few minutes every day. You can gradually increase your time or just leave it open based on how your day goes!
- Use your journal to track your spiritual growth and the improvements in balance in your life.
- Use your journal to track your struggles. It’s fine and everyone has them.
- Use your journal to track how you overcame in your struggles and how the Word of God played a part.
- Use your journal to celebrate and create vision for the future.
- Take the first steps toward eating healthy and commit to continue them.
- If you are not getting regular exercise start taking short walks, running, going to a gym, finding a friend to walk with or doing whatever type of exercise you can continue to do regularly.
- Combine your exercise time with your time talking to God every day.
- .Change what you watch and read to be positive and scriptural. Stay away from negative, angry, degrading, violent, and depressing things.
- Change your thinking by using the Word of God. You have the mind of Christ and can encourage yourself through the Word.
- Find Godly friends or those who are positive and build you up rather than tear you down.
- Practice gratitude every day, multiple times per day, and speak it out loud. Use Scripture to cultivate an attitude of gratitude.
- If you need help for depression, fear, anger, or any other debilitating condition, get help immediately. There is no shame in needing someone else’s help.
- Cultivate your relationship with the Holy Spirit.
- Listen and Obey even when it’s hard because He wants your life to be beautiful and full.